Clan 404


I hate chavs

24 Jul 2007 by ShogZ

So here's the thing.

Somedays I look around the public transport netowkr as I rumble towards my office and actually see the people around me.

Sometimes I can't help but hear them too.

Perhaps in my mid twenties way, I'm starting my inevitable shift toward the conservatism of old age, but in all honesty this city is fucked.

And if this city produces 20% of the GDP of the UK (After expenses of course..) then to be honest, the country is pretty fucked too.

I'm not referring to the transport system, which actually works ok for me, a light railway, a tube and a railway every morning and it's always on time(ish) , I always get a seat and things are relatively nice.

Nor am I referring to the pollution or the noise, or any other pretend environmental problem, like global warming (If it's getting hotter why is it raining all the time eh? EH?)

No I am referring to chavs. And the evolution of the chav.

It used to be that a chav was a fairly easy one to spot, they come in a variety of flavors depending on age. The young chav is about 6 or seven onwards and is allowed by his or her mother to roam freely throughout the day (The father is drunk or absent). They routinely shout, spit and swear and do socially obnoxious crap like try ringtones on the train or start conversations with "Oi! How much did that cost?" nodding at your shirt/phone/shoes whatever.

When they get older, lets say ten onwards, they are usually at the age to start fighting with one another and stealing or raping. You'd be suicidally sad at the number of kids that are being stabbed and shot in London these days, these kids differ very little fomr the younger chavs only they're a little more dangerous, unimpeeded by the threat of the law or punishment (They know nothing, but they know the law regarding prosecutions and time served very well). I wouldnt' care if it were a problem amongst their own group, i.e. they just stabbed and killed one another or raped their own chav hareem but it doesnt happen. They routinely 'break into' other peoples social and personal bubble and the average traveller is too worried aobut backlash/prosecution/stabbing to intervene on anyone else's behalf. These kids have run feral and are well aware that society will punish them as much as their probably welfare supported parents, none.

Then we move into the most dangerous phase. The twelve's to twenty five year old chavs. Boys and girls.

These fuckers like nothing more than to make their petty little lives everyone's business and fill their empty days with drama on the personal level. They couldnt give a stuff about the world, learning or politics etc. Or even human decency or social manners. Their personality is pretty much set and all that remains is to add some teenage angst and let them take it out on the world. They hiss, kiss their teeth, talk about 'respect' and fight, stab, swear and steal at every opportunity. Greed and social decentralisation gone wild. The true beasts of men.

The women are no better, they drink as the men do, wear hideous clothes, scream and shout and talk about being 'proper brewin'' or various other terms for stressed out at having been impregnated by their latest ten year old 'fella'. Girl on girl fighting is a serious problem and girl on boy fighting is not rare. Again the sad routine of stabbing and shooting also comes into play, only as a law abiding member of the public you're likely to be caught up in their shit, or even the target of it. The litany of decent, well meaning, educated, twenty something professionals that have been killed or injured because of these bastards is too sad to recount. I think only of the case of Tom Ap Rhys Price, the young lawyer who was stabbed and killed for a mobile and an oyster card. He fought them off, tried to reach his fiancee's house and was killed in the process. His last words to his attackers were:

"That's it, you've got everything"

At which point they stabbed him again before he could get home and die with his girlfriend.

The dangerous new species, the evolution I spoke of, is something thats just beginning. I'm seeing it now, more so as I age and I think I know why.

The chavs that have survived and had babies (As they always do) have gotten older, they've also infected others, like some social virus.

I watched a middle aged woman, well dressed and otherwise presentable shout into her mobile this afternoon. I'm going to make a racial point here to which the PC brigade will tie me up, but the PC brigade got us into this so fuck them.

This lady was asian. She was probably twenty something if not thirty.

However, dressed, traditionally as she was, she was using words like 'bredrin' 'brewin' 'proper' and 'respect' with a hideously fake accent.

I know I'm one to talk aoubt accents, but see me through on this one.

Earlier on I had seen an essex chav, builder type, escape through the barricades without paying at the tube station. He'd run foprm the guard shouting "Safe blood!" and legged it up the escalator. He was white, at least thirty two and probably a builder.

Female asian, twentysomething, middle aged white male. Linkage? Language.

I routinely see African kids, Somalians, Nigerians etc who also adopt the same lexicon. I've seen Somali men talking the same way.

Increasingly the white male chav, who's language bastion was once estuary english, now uses a lexicon most similar to Jamaican patois, in a mixed estuary/Jafaiakan accent.

Every singole one of these different types of chav all use the same accent and vocab. It's a soft fake jamaican sound added to an east end barrow boy style of pronounciation. The words came form the yardies and some of the accent from the essex chavs. It's evolved.

More scary than the evolution is the contagion. I see business men using these phrases, guys getting on at posh stops, wearing good suits "Easy geeza" the working class staple has become "Safe bredrin, w'appen?"

Watching these feral kids and some wild adults all copying words fomr other cultures and butvhering the english language I get quite sad.

The BBC recently reported it had severe problems recuirting child actors and actresses to play 'proper' parts in period dramas because nobody had the required level of english skill.

On top of this a recent employers survey found that most school and college graduates needed additional communications training when they entered work, school leavers in particular, as they simply cvouldnt hold a conversation with superiors or counterparts.

Scotland, Ireland and Wales all have their share of chavs (Called Neds, Scallys and other such names) but they also retain an identity. This, I think, is because of accent.

However I literally want to cry sometimes when I hear the standard of english spoken in the average school yard or on the trip home. Vulgarity, poor grammar, badly imported words, lots of filler...All these things are staples of todays modern english.

I'm not sure why but I feel like England, London in particular, is dying.

Self serving, arrogant, ill educated, bad mouthed, wild scum are the order of the day. And they just seem to multiply. The problem is as they become the new entrants into the workplace, new cashiers at Maccy D's and other such jobs their english becomes compulsory for the rest of us.

In order to interact with these people I have to use their language. There are problably innumerable courses on 'workplace communication' and some pretty retarded leaflets for teachers and others on 'talking to kids' but seriously this is not good. And whats worse is as todays generation of chavs becomes tomorrows middle aged 'do any job' types their hideous ways go with them and infect all associated markets, advertising and other such things.

People say we live in a classless society, but if so it wont be for much longer.

Those of us that can speak the language and act responsibly can only support the creaking system for so long. Then its time to dump the dead wood.

Die chavs die.

It's a kind of magic...

12 Jul 2007 by ShogZ

Tuesday's reports of mass weeping of women and a huge spike in the sale of ladies 'comfort foods' can now be confirmed and indeed explained.

You see, for the ladies out there (And the gents that have had their eye on me) I am now officially married.

The ceremony was carried out quickly and quietly in ultra secret fashion as is the 404 cabals code. However, now that the legal bits are done the planning begins for a large party and celebration in a years time...Clan mates are of course guests of honor. We are, after all, family...But that doesn't mean anyone gets to take turns with my wife.

The bachelor is dead, long live the husband.

Zelda: Ocri..Ocra...Ocr...64 best game ever!

02 Jul 2007 by ShogZ

Zelda, Ocriannnanan of time has been voted best game ever by Nintedn...Sorry Edge magazine in it's 10 greatest titles poll.

Apparently it ushered in a new world of 3d Gaming and moved the franchise and the industry forward. The fact that almost all the gmaes listed are on Nintendo platforms and Zelda appears twice is immaterial. NINTENDO ARE GREAT DAMNIT.

Anyhow you can read the ' monetarily inspired journalism' here.

Personally I would have said Commander Keen, or attack of the orbs. But what do I know?

Nice styleeee

25 Jun 2007 by ShogZ

On occasion MC's from the underground are worth listening to. According to my real life MC Riz is in my extended network, he debuted on the BBC stage at Glastonbury.

You can catch his show by clicking here.

The fact that he's taken my only fan (Thanks mum) leaves no bitter taste. Don't agree with everything he says but he's still worth listening to.


25 Jun 2007 by Dr_Gonz

On the offchance anyone still plays id games here (i realise it's a long shot), I only just noticed that Q4 got another patch the other day, including what seems to be  GTV type dealio, which is good news. On a similar front (though it's been out for ages), there is (allegedly) a good Doom 3 open coop mod, which adds the one feature I was really looking forward to in the game in the first place! Now Shades and I just have to install the game again and we should be set for coopery fun.